Fall Reset: Balance, Boundaries, and Pruning
[00:00:00] And that's where I think the true balance comes from the back and forth, from letting go of some things for a while so you can pursue others, from being a whole, balanced person instead of simply trying to balance everything you're carrying. A person with wants, needs, desires, and responsibilities. A person who gets to take up space in their own life.
Speaker: Welcome to Clear and on Purpose. I'm Christina, coach, strategist, and someone deeply fascinated by the patterns that keep capable people stuck in cycles of burnout, overthinking, pressure, and self-sabotage. Around here, we go deeper than surface level motivation or productivity hacks. We talk about the hidden dynamics shaping the way you work, lead, relate, and move through life so you can create success that actually [00:01:00] feels sustainable.
Each week, I share personal stories, mindset shifts, and practical insights to help you reconnect with yourself, reclaim your energy, and move forward with more clarity, intention, and self-trust. I'm glad you're here
It's that time of year again when we reach the autumnal equinox, when the light and the dark, daytime and night start to come back towards balance. Summer was full of long days, sun, and heat. It was a time for exhaling, being active, having fun, letting go of schedules, and being more spontaneous
And summer was really good to me. I had so much fun doing all of the activities, the trips, the concerts, the beach, the pool and paddleboarding, kayaking and camping, hanging out with friends. It was also a time of letting go of some of the regular obligations. The [00:02:00] podcast stayed consistent, but social media dropped off a bit.
Client work was there, but some of the constant admin lightened. It was a time of moving a little more toward an extreme, and for me, that meant going headlong into the fun and adventure that I had felt like I was missing. Life started to feel a little stale and monotonous, so I mixed it up. And now, over the past couple weeks, I've started feeling that draw to turn more inward, to bring back some of those routines, and start implementing some of the accessory functions again.
Nature is naturally bringing me back toward more balance, and it's got me thinking about how much we talk about balance, especially for women and mothers. How do you maintain balance? How do you hold it all together? How do you make sure you're showing up for everything equally, and [00:03:00] nothing's falling? I think a lot of the discontent comes from believing that we're supposed to somehow live in that state perpetually.
That if we could just get organized enough, disciplined enough, efficient enough, we could hold all of our obligations, all of our to-do lists, all of our responsibilities, and if we're lucky, all of our desires at the same time. And then we wonder why we're exhausted. Because that kind of state was never meant to be permanent.
We're cyclical beings, and balance includes periods of creativity and fun, periods of responsibility and productivity, times of caretaking and effort, and times of rejuvenation and rest. When we deny ourselves any of those for too long, we start to feel off, stuck, [00:04:00] disconnected, sometimes like we're failing because we can't keep every part of our life perfectly attended to all the time.
And that's where I think the true balance comes from the back and forth, from letting go of some things for a while so you can pursue others, from being a whole, balanced person instead of simply trying to balance everything you're carrying. A person with wants, needs, desires, and responsibilities. A person who gets to take up space in their own life.
That's the kind of grounded balance I think a lot of us are really looking for. Being confident enough in what matters to you that your priorities and responsibilities can organize around that rather than continually fitting yourself into whatever leftover spaces exist when everything else has been taken care of, [00:05:00] which as we all know, never happens.
So fall feels like a really good time to look at where we've been white-knuckling a version of balance that doesn't really exist and ask what needs to shift for this next season. For this fall reset, we're gonna look at some real practical things. We'll reflect on what's working and where there's friction.
We'll dream and plan and reconnect with some of your desires. And we're also gonna do some pruning, because if your life is already full, adding a bunch of beautiful new fall routines on top of it probably isn't going to make you feel particularly balanced. And yes, we'll eventually get to the pumpkin decor and autumn leaves, but first, let's take a little systems audit.
Look at this past year or even just this past season. What were your highlights? What were the things you wanted to [00:06:00] celebrate? What did you most enjoy? What were your wins? And when you start listing that, notice what those things might be showing you about what you actually value. Was it community and time with friends or family?
Was it trips and adventures or activities? Were there things you pursued because you were passionate about them and then you finally brought them to fruition? Maybe it was launching a business or writing a book. Maybe it was a race that you completed. And look at what those highlights tell you about how you wanna feel.
Because maybe you keep coming back to connection. Maybe it's adventure, or really all you want is peace, spaciousness, excitement, creativity. Whatever comes up, write down a few of those feelings that you want [00:07:00] more of in your life, and then start to dig a little further. What actually worked? How were you able to make those things happen?
What was working in that last season of your life? What were the mindsets, the structures, or the little things that helped you create those highlights? Maybe there were structural things. Having everything packed and ready or a good morning routine where you were able to start the day grounded and calm.
Maybe it was putting something on the calendar ahead of time and making a plan for it. Maybe it was more internal. You were really able to be present, or you allowed things to be flexible. Maybe you just had fewer expectations about exactly how something needed to go. What worked well for you this last season?
And then what didn't? Maybe it was too many [00:08:00] late nights and waking up feeling groggy. Maybe laundry never got done. Maybe you felt like you were constantly in the car shuttling everyone to activities. What were the issues that kept coming up over and over again? And start to look at those things and notice the friction points.
Where are those sticky spots? Where is that point in the process where something suddenly requires more energy than you want to give it, so you keep avoiding it or it just doesn't happen? Maybe you wanna do a skincare routine at night, but by the time you actually get up and go to the bathroom, you are done.
You wanna go to bed, so you skip it. Once you identify the friction point, you can get a little creative. How could I make this as easy as possible? Maybe all of your skincare goes in a basket you can grab and do it while you're watching a [00:09:00] show. A friction point for me lately has been planning. I have been doing it, but definitely not in a timely manner for the week.
Sometimes it would be Wednesday afternoon, and I'd just be starting to map out my week, which is probably not that effective. And when I actually looked at why, I started to realize that I wasn't carving out the time, and I didn't feel like I had a quiet place where I could stay focused long enough to get it done So maybe one of the things that I could do is make it more of a ritual.
Instead of trying to get it done on a Sunday morning when everything's going on in the house, maybe I pack up my stuff the night before. I have an easy checklist, and I mean easy because I can definitely overcomplicate that and make a ten-step perfect version of my weekly planning. And instead, I grab it and I put it on my calendar that I'm gonna go get a delicious tea at a coffee shop [00:10:00] and plan the week completely unbothered.
And that sounds significantly more appealing. Once you start noticing what isn't working and you get curious about what's actually causing the friction, that's when you can make the adjustments. And I know this is usually the part where suddenly you want to improve all the areas of your life at once. I get it, but please don't.
Just pick one or two things that are causing the most stress or discontent and ask what would make them a little easier. You don't need to completely solve them, just improve them. And go back to those feelings you wrote down earlier. Where could you get more of those in your life? And this is somewhere where I see people get stuck all the time.
They know, they get an idea, they reconnect with how they wanna feel, but immediately their brain gives them all the reasons that that feeling isn't available. [00:11:00] So they start to think that they want this, but then they they immediately go into, "I don't have the time," or, "I don't have the money," or, "My schedule's too full.
The kids have too much going on. I'm too tired." But instead of stopping there, start asking, "How can I? If this is how I want to feel, how could I create a little more of it? If I were able to make this work, what could that look like?" And let your brain come up with ideas before you start swatting them down.
If your schedule feels too full, maybe the question becomes, "How could I create a little more space? Could we let go of an activity? Could I send a gift instead of attending that party? Could I trade carpool with another parent and get an hour to myself? Could I do a [00:12:00] smaller version of the thing that I keep telling myself that I don't have the time or the money to do?
Maybe I don't have time for a full week-long family vacation, but maybe we could get away for a day or two. Maybe we could go on a trip for the weekend." And this is the place for some yes and thinking. Give yourself the time to dream a little. Think of the things you may not have considered before and see what comes up.
once you've figured out that you want more peace or space or creativity or adventure this season, start to take a look at what is currently taking up that space. And what could you release? This is the time to get into the pruning. What expectations are you carrying that maybe don't need to come with you into this season?
What responsibilities could be shared or simplified, done less often, or [00:13:00] dropped altogether? And is there an activity that worked for your family six months ago maybe, and now everybody really hates it, but you keep doing it anyways because that's just what you do? Is there something that you can keep saying yes to because you feel like you should that maybe it's time to let go of?
And is there a standard that you are holding yourself to that requires a ton of energy but that you don't get any return on? And this is also where you need to stop treating yourself as an afterthought. If you want yourself higher on your own list of things to take care of, there may be some expectations or responsibilities that have to loosen their grip a little.
You may need to ask for help or share something. You might need to say no and let something go that was good for something more that you want. [00:14:00] Because you are a person inside this life too. So before you start adding all the things you wanna do this fall, give yourself a little space to ask, "What am I willing to stop carrying?"
And then look at the adjustments that you've come up with and start implementing one or two of them. See how that impacts how you feel. And this doesn't have to be some giant life overhaul. You're just starting to gather information. You're trying something. Notice whether it actually gives you more of what you are looking for, and adjust from there.
And make this something that you revisit regularly. During your weekly planning, you can check in. How do I wanna feel this week? What would help create that? And what needs to have space on the calendar for that to actually happen? And this is where you ask yourself, "Where can I stop treating myself like the optional [00:15:00] piece that fits in after everything else?
Where do I become the priority?" Because your responsibilities still exist, and your kids still need things, and work still needs to get done. The laundry, unfortunately, remains a very committed role in your life. But your needs and desires get to be part of the equation when you decide how the week is going to work.
And from there, I like to move into visioning. I'm a very visual person, so I do the yearly vision board. But I also like making seasonal mood boards, and I put them up in our home because I want a visual reminder of what I want the season to feel like. So yeah, there's activities and things on there, but it's more of how I want it to feel.
And then I'll also make a seasonal bucket list. And for fall, this probably will include things like an apple orchard and pumpkin patch, baking and hiking, bike rides, maybe even putting [00:16:00] up some of that fall decor. Whatever we want to make sure we actually do while it makes sense for this time of year.
This is where I put down the things that when I look back on the year or on the season, that I'll have want to have done. And this is a great place to get family input too. What do they want to make sure that they do this season? Because these things that I put on that bucket list and on that mood board, those tend to become the highlights.
They're the things that you look back on the next season and think, "I am really glad that we did that." And I've learned that for me, if I don't make some of those things visible and intentional, it is incredibly easy for all of our other obligations to fill the space instead. And I also take my fall mood board and make a mini version for my phone screen, so I have that seasonal vibe right there at my fingertips, constantly reminding me of how I wanna feel And once I know what I want [00:17:00] the season to feel like and I've made some room for it, that's when I move into the physical reset.
This is when you look at what are the rhythms, routines, and structures that could make your life easier this upcoming season. Where can you reduce some of the decision fatigue? For example, instead of constantly wondering when was the last time I washed the sheets, I just wash them every Sunday now.
And technically, yes, this is more work. It may not be for everyone. But because everyone is on the same page, I never have to keep wondering when they got done last, when they need to be done. They aren't taking up mental space. And if we miss a week, who cares? We'll get them the following week. And there's something nice for me about just being able to get into a nice clean bed every Sunday.
And I started doing that with more and more of our house maintenance tasks. I found that I was taking up so much space trying to decide when things needed to be done or constantly holding all those ideas in my head, thinking that everything needed to be done. [00:18:00] So I moved it all to a routine and a standing day.
So a load of laundry gets thrown in every morning, and my husband folds it. And this way, we don't end up with mountains of dirty laundry or full days spent folding or constantly searching for one missing shirt that we needed ten minutes before we need to leave. And we do a different area of the house every day of the week and get it clean, and now nothing gets as bad as it used to.
Is it perfect? Absolutely not. But now it usually takes thirty minutes to get my home tidy again instead of several hours. And for the change of seasons, we'll start transitioning our entryway, trading some of the summer stuff out, and making sure that what we actually need for fall is easy to get to.
This is when we start putting away the sunscreen and the swimsuits, and we bring in the bug spray and the jackets. And I'll go through the pantry and get rid of expired things and organize it so that it's ready for fall baking. We usually go [00:19:00] through the garage, so we have a space to park while we still have easy access to our bikes and balls and all the things that we'll continue to use.
And I go through the kids' clothes to see what they've outgrown, what they need for the next season, and check all of our winter gear, so we don't suddenly discover that we are out of boots that fit anyone when we're looking at five inches of snow But all of these things happen gradually, and they support the feelings that I want to have.
I want to be able to easily be able to bake. I want to be able to go on a bike ride when we want to. I want to have the things that we need at the door so that I'm not constantly having to look for it, so we can do those activities that we want to. They all support my bigger vision, and they're done in stages.
And a lot of them we've added individually into our routines over time and have slowly gotten better at it. So [00:20:00] now going through the garage might take an hour and a half instead of the entire day. And the clothes, going through all of those might take an hour instead of taking up our entire afternoon and the entire living room.
Because those were friction points for me that I wanted to eliminate and streamline. And yours might be completely different. The point of the reset is to notice what keeps making your particular life harder than it needs to be and start making those small changes that support the way you actually want to live this season.
And fall itself is a season of letting go, simplifying, and preparing for that turn inward. So give yourself space to make this part of a regular process. You do not have to do all of this in a day. You don't even have to do it all on a weekend. Because believe me, I used to do that, and it turns out that frantically overhauling my entire life in [00:21:00] forty-eight hours is not necessarily the way that I can enter that next season the most relaxed.
So start slowly and pay attention to what's actually important to you instead of automatically copying what I do or what someone on Instagram does, or even just what you think a fall reset is supposed to look like. Notice what you want more of. Notice what keeps getting in your way, and then make some space and let a few things go.
Put yourself back into the equation and use the next few weeks to start returning toward that place of balance, the kind that moves and shifts with the season but stays grounded in you.
Speaker 2: Thank you for tuning in to Clear and on Purpose. My hope is that these conversations help you see yourself more [00:22:00] clearly, understand your patterns more compassionately, and move through life with more intention, capacity, and alignment. If this episode resonated, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, or share it with someone who'd benefit from hearing it too.
And if you're looking for deeper support, coaching details and offerings can be found at christinaslayback.com
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