Raise Your Standards, Reclaim Your Energy: How Personal Standards Bring Clarity and Ease to Your Life

Ever feel like you’re constantly falling short of the invisible “shoulds” in your life? From how clean your house should be to how often you should work out — it’s exhausting trying to keep up with everyone else’s expectations.
In this episode of Clear & On Purpose, Christina dives deep into the concept of personal standards — what they are, why they matter, and how they can help you live more intentionally and authentically.

When you create and live by your standards (not society’s or anyone else’s), you eliminate decision fatigue, build self-trust, and begin to act like the person you truly want to be.

Christina shares how she’s reframed personal standards in her own life — from redefining what “a clean house” means to setting realistic movement goals — and walks you through a process to create your own aligned standards in every area of life.

By the end of this episode, you’ll have a framework to:
 ✨ Identify the areas of your life that feel out of alignment
 ✨ Replace “shoulds” with standards that actually support your values
 ✨ Create habits and routines that feel natural, not forced
 ✨ Regain confidence, energy, and ease by living as your intentional self

If you’re ready to stop striving for perfection and start living by your own rules, this episode is your roadmap.

Resources Mentioned:

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• Sign up for the Momentum Challenge: Click here to get started.

Resources & Links

• Follow Christina @christinaslaback
• Email us at hello@christinaslaback.com
• www.christinaslaback.com

Transcript

Personal Standards

[00:00:00] By implementing your own personal standards, you start to act like someone who does the thing. It can help reduce decision fatigue, and it makes it much more likely to choose the thing that deep down we want to do rather than the thing that might be currently easier. And the more you do the things that you enjoy and that you actually value, the more that you'll enjoy your overall life.

And I'll feel like you have passion and energy again. 

Christina: Welcome to Clear and On Purpose, the podcast design to help you cut through the noise and get back to what matters most. If you're feeling stuck, but needs to take intentional action, you are in the right place. I'm Christina Slayback, homeschooling mom of two, and life and business coach. Helping you drop in and align with your values three or space Each week I'll be sharing practical insights and simple actionable steps to help you find clarity, boost your energy, and [00:01:00] design a life that balances ambition with.

Let's dive in and get clear on purpose.

In episode 180 9 on the podcast, I talked about the difference between boundaries, expectations, rules, and standards. And today I wanted to take a little bit of time to dive more deeply into what personal standards are and why you might wanna look at implementing them. So personal standards are the unique set of self-imposed guidelines, expectations, and beliefs that a person chooses to live by.

They dictate their behavior, their thoughts, and interactions with others. So these are guidelines that set your personal behavior. There's something that you have control over when you set personal standards. That are in alignment with your values, you're ensuring that your actions and the person that you are is in line with the vision that you have for yourself.[00:02:00] 

It takes a lot of the guesswork out of the day-to-day decision making because they provide you with a framework. So when you have a set of personal standards, you, when you're considering doing things, when you have things that come up in your life, you can. Have that to look at and see if that's aligned with those personal standards.

And it can really help to foster a sense of self-respect. You know who you are, you know what your values are, you know what's important to you, and you know the standard that you have for yourself. And so by having that information and being able to then live. And take action according to those standards.

You feel more in alignment. You feel a sense of self-confidence and a sense of of trust. And when it goes wrong is if your standards that you're living by either aren't in alignment with your personal [00:03:00] values. So maybe you're living by somebody else's standards, some societal standards that you think you should be doing, and you are not living up to those.

But it's not. Something that you are personally invested in. Let's give an example. One of the things that has always been a struggle for me is that I live in a constant state of flux and movement, and the way that my brain works just doesn't really. Go well for maintenance type tasks. So when that comes to household issues or trying to keep up and maintain that, I will never have a quote unquote, like overly clean house.

Like it will never be Pinterest level clean. It will never look like that on a consistent basis. We have too many things. That I would rather spend my time on. There are too [00:04:00] many activities and things that I wanna say yes to for myself and the kids and the way that we live our life, that that standard is just not relevant for us.

But when I would sit there and I would kind of beat myself up about, you should be doing this. These maintenance tasks more often, you should be able to keep it up and just not have, you know, clean it one day and not have it look like a tornado came through it the next day.

And that wasn't my standard, that was somebody else's society standard or things that I had to envisioned or seen other people do that I thought was a value of or was. How I was valued. So if I wasn't able to keep up on that, then that meant that I wasn't trying hard enough or that I wasn't worth as much as people who were able to keep up on that.

And when I was able to like, take a step back and say, you know, this actually isn't in alignment with my, with my values. [00:05:00] So my personal standard is not that my house is Pinterest perfect clean But what it does mean is that I do have a personal standard where there was a lot of time where I thought that I just didn't need to take, spend any attention to it, that it didn't really affect me, and that was also incorrect.

So it was that this wasn't aligned for me, that I don't need to have it this way, so I'm just going to, we're just gonna live our life. Um, but what I didn't realize was that was having an effect on me too. So when I actually was able to look at and evaluate. What my values are and what I wanted to do and what I wanted our lives to look like and in terms of what actually made it function better is that we do have regular things that we do.

We keep up on, items a lot more, and I have those routines kind of built in now where our house will never be completely clean, but it also doesn't take a super long time to get it back to. [00:06:00] The a way that would make it, you know, guest ready to be able to come in because we have these. These, uh, routines in place.

So my personal standard isn't that it looks perfect a hundred percent of the time, but I do want it to feel good when I'm in there. I don't want it to be so overly cluttered. I don't want there to be so much going on or for us to just ignore it, that it becomes anxiety producing for me. So we go through and we, you know, we'll do a quick pickup at the end of the day, or we have like certain, rooms that we focus on each day of the week, so we can kind of rotate that out and nothing gets.

 forsaken for too long, and that has really helped because that's aligned my standards, my personal standards is that I want to feel good in my house. I want it to feel like there's space and there's ease there instead of a bunch of clutter and piles and things that I have to do, and also that I don't lose my mind.

We have a big mess that comes through [00:07:00] if all of a sudden there's a big project and the kids wanna do, or, you know, I often eat in the living room there. There's things that we do that are in line with our lives that are going to make it so that it is not a hundred percent, like there are no stains on anything there.

Everything's, you know, very, very perfectly clean. And with that. That feels so much better to me because I've been able to create my own personal standard of what cleanliness and, the feeling in my house is and what that means for me. And then I am able to then look at it and say, okay, you know, if I don't really wanna do these things because I don't like to do these maintenance things.

When I'm looking at whether or not I'm going to do it, I look in line with my personal standards. So if I'm trying to do it for this level of, of perfection that I'm not attaining to that I don't desire, then I'm not gonna do it. But if I'm looking at it and saying, you know, actually I know that if I don't do this today, it's gonna cause me [00:08:00] more issues, I'm gonna feel more anxious, or it's just gonna create more backlog for me in the future.

That that actually isn't in alignment with what I want, so I might as well just do it today so that I can keep up that personal standard that I have. And you can do this in all areas of your life, but the process that I went through this was really looking at and saying like, where am I feeling gaps?

Where am I feeling like I'm either not enough or I'm too much? What are those areas that don't feel good? And then taking it and looking at it and breaking it down and saying, what do I think that I should be doing here? And looking at, okay, you know what I think that I should be doing is that I should have.

A completely Pinterest perfect home. No, in reality, that's not what I want. So I look at what I think that I should be doing and then evaluate is that actually what I desire and is that the feeling that I want? Is this high stress situation of having this, like this all [00:09:00] the time? I, I don't wanna museum worthy home.

I want a home that we can live in. And look at what the feeling is that you want in that area and what that might look like. So. Okay. Instead of taking the should, what does it, what would it look like? What would it feel like to be able to have that vision that you desire and start to notice where those gaps are?

What are the areas that are feeling really sticky, that are just constant states of stress? And then what are some of those areas that you actually feel good with that use that. Use it as a contrast. Like what are the areas that feel light and easy for you, and where can you look at like, what are the standards that you identified for that version of your life?

We also don't do a lot of sport or or extra activities for our kids. They usually have one for each season. That we do and that we'll take them to maybe a couple of them, [00:10:00] but too many activities and extracurriculars and me driving around and doing all of the drop offs and the pickups and managing all the schedules doesn't feel good for me either.

So like as a personal standard, that's, we've just never had that come in. We've never added on all of these activities because that's something that we want to be able. To maintain where we give them free time that they can play on their own. We give them, or we give time to be able to have as a family and be able to spend time together.

It gives us more freedom of flexibility when we're trying to play on trips and activities and things that are not involved with these very specific, you know, school sports or theater or whatever the, the activities are. So looking at where are the places that you feel like. This is easy. You know, I, I am very clear on what I want in this and my life is really aligned with it.

And what are the areas that are feeling sticky? And then see what those [00:11:00] values are that are, that are different. You know, are you bringing in outside opinions on what you should be doing in certain areas? And where does it feel like, you know, I'm really just embodying, I'm living. What is my true desires?

And once you've identified one or more of those core values, start to look at like, what is someone who does that, that embodies those values. So if we're looking at it and saying, here's what I want to do. This is, this is my, my core value, this is the standard that I want do. So for me personally, one of the things that I do is I move my body every day.

And what that used to look like is that I had. I thought that it had to be really complicated. I had to be doing something very specific. I had to, be doing it in a very sporty way that wasn't aligned with who I am. But for me now, I know that as long as I'm moving my body every day, it doesn't matter what [00:12:00] the season is.

It doesn't matter whether I'm doing yoga, whether I'm doing running, whether I'm doing drug training, whether I'm just walking around the block. It doesn't matter what the activity is. As long as I'm moving my body every day. And the reason that I'm doing that is because it's aligned with my core values of feeling energized, of feeling like I have a stress outlet of being able to be physically active, just feels good in my body and my mind.

So knowing that I have that, that's my standard, and then I don't have to worry about what all the details are, what exactly that looks like. Because somebody that is embodying these energized, this alive feeling, the ability to have that mental and physical relief, that's somebody that feels good in their body for me.

They move every day. So the. What that person does is that they do do some kind of activity. Now that might look different than what I do, but they move every day. They're, they're tuning in and listening to what their body [00:13:00] needs at a certain time and then engaging in that activity. So what is the, what is somebody who bodies.

The values that you have, what is something that they would do if you're having having trouble, like what your personal standard do would be? Look at what somebody that you admire in that area. What are things that they would do as a normal activity that would encompass that and start to craft an identity of somebody who is those things, and break that into like an aspirational statement.

So. I am someone who moves every day. And then you can break that down into goals. So you create that action steps from that statement. So the statement is, I am someone who moves every day. And then my goal is that I am doing something active for 20 to 30 minutes, whatever it is, every single [00:14:00] day. And then what I do is I look at that and say, okay, if I'm somebody who moves every day, what's gonna feel good for me right now?

So at this stage in my life, I'm doing a lot of strength training. I'm doing a little bit of running, I'm doing a little bit of,classes, but my main thing is strength training. And then I can look at that and I can see how that works within my schedule, how those activities would line up, what programs I wanna do or what's, you know, do I need to break it down and schedule the time?

And the the location that I'm doing it every day, do I have to put those into my week right away? Do I need to add those into my day? What are the things that I need to break down to make this statement be true for me? So if I'm moving every day, do I need to schedule in that time to take a walk in the morning?

Do I need to put those workout schedule or those classes in the calendar? Do I need to set a time where I go to the gym at the same time every day? And for some people, really getting really granular and putting it in [00:15:00] there as you know, this is the time, this is the, this is the activity, this is all of that.

It is gonna be what really makes them be able to feel good and be able to stick with it for other people, that level of granularity is just going to make them turn away from it. So maybe you're someone who's like, okay, I need to move every day and I'm just going to, you know, I'm gonna move in the morning and whatever time that is, or I'm going to do this type.

Of activity, I'm gonna do this, set of yoga classes, that I found online on YouTube. I'm just gonna do one video every day and it doesn't matter what time I'm doing it or I'm gonna just take a walk outside in the morning or after I get home with work. But looking at it and giving yourself more of a menu of options that you can kind of pull in and giving yourself more flexibility for that.

If you're someone that kind of bucks against more of that rigid structure, that might be a way to be able to break that into it more.

And let's set a test period. So test it out for a couple of [00:16:00] weeks. Try it. Okay. I'm a person that moves every day, so I'm going to set this schedule. And I'm going to create this and this is the time I'm gonna do this and this is what I'm going to do. And I have that all set and test it out for a couple weeks, see how it feels.

Are you getting those of those feelings that you wanted? Are you feeling more energized? Are you feeling more,ease and less stress? Or is the activity or the time or. The standard itself, feeling like it's adding more stress or doing the opposite of what you're attending. So give it a little test period and then reflect back and think about how you can adjust or pivot if you need to, and how you can keep that consistency going to be able to continue with the standard.

Sometimes what I found too is that my standards are just too high. And this is something that I've struggled with all my life, is having high personal standards. And so when [00:17:00] I would set about changing something, I would have very strict things, okay, I'm gonna do 60 minutes, I'm gonna do it five times a week.

I'm gonna follow this all. And then as soon as that didn't happen, then I would feel. The opposite. I would feel really let down, like I let myself down. I would feel like I wasn't living up to what I wanted to do. And so looking at and saying is my standard too high? You can always exceed, but a standard should be something like, this is my bare minimum.

This is. This is what I'm aiming for. This is what I want to be. This is like an average of what I wanna be. I wanna be somebody who moves every day. Does that mean that I move absolutely every day? Probably not, no. But does it mean that I'm gonna move way more days than I'm not? Absolutely. It is. And it doesn't mean that I'm gonna be doing 60 minutes or 90 minutes of really intense workout every day.

And it gives me that freedom to be able to adapt and change. Is that, are there days when I'm doing a class and running or other things? Of course. as my [00:18:00] energy and my desires and my schedule allows, those things may happen, but my standard is just that I move every day because that's making it easy.

It's that minimum vibe, minimum viable product of what I want to have happen. So that I have that, that I can just keep going back to and I can just keep building on that identity. As you start to implement these personal standards, as you start to articulate them a little bit more and just pay more attention to them, you'll notice that you probably already have a lot of these things in your life.

You'll notice that when you have a difference between what your standard is that you expect and where you, feel like your actual actions are, that you'll feel a little bit of discomfort in those areas. So look at and adjust. Are my standards too high? Are there ways that I can make this be easier? Can I let this be easy?

And be able to look at those so that you can look at and identify and create more alignment in your life? Because [00:19:00] the more that you can bring in to things that are actually relevant to you in ways that feel like they work in your schedule with your energy, with your time, where you are at this point in your life.

And be able to continue to do the things that you intend to do and show yourself that you can meet those standards that you have, that you can live according to your values. The more and more you do that, the easier those habits are gonna be. The easier it's gonna notice when you, you're gonna notice when you're get out of alignment and the easier it'll be to bring it back.

By implementing your own personal standards, you start to act like someone who does the thing. It can help reduce decision fatigue, and it makes it much more likely to choose the thing that deep down we want to do rather than the thing that might be currently easier. And the more you do the things that you enjoy and that you actually value, the more that you'll enjoy [00:20:00] your overall life.

And I'll feel like you have passion and energy again. If this episode resonated with you, I would love it if you would share with a friend if you'd leave a comment or rate and review the podcast. It helps me to be able to reach more people, and I appreciate you spending your time with me. See you next time.

Thank you for tuning in to clear and on purpose. If you're ready to take intentional steps toward a more fulfilling life and wanna customize the approach, I'd love to work with you. Visit www.christinaslayback.com to schedule a free consultation or explore current offers designed to help you gain clarity.

Christina: And reclaim your energy. And don't forget to subscribe and share this episode with a friend if you found it helpful. It helps others find the show and grow our community.