From Burned Out to Balanced: Creating a Baseline

Feeling overwhelmed and reactive as a parent? In this episode of Clear & On Purpose, I’m sharing the real shifts that helped me create a calmer, more connected household—not by fixing my kids' behavior, but by resetting the baseline energy in our home and in myself.

You’ll hear my honest reflections as a homeschooling mom, entrepreneur, and coach on how intentional parenting starts with you. From sleep and nutrition to alone time, movement, and emotional energy—this episode is packed with lived experience and doable insights (no generic parenting tips here!).

This is the second episode in our April series on Intentional Parenting. If you missed last week’s conversation about setting house rules that actually work, be sure to go back and listen to Episode 165.

Whether you're a busy parent juggling it all or someone trying to reset the vibe in your home, this episode will help you identify what’s really driving behavior and how to shift the foundation for more peace and presence.

🎯 In this episode, I share:

• What “baseline energy” means and why it matters more than any parenting script
• How I know when I need a reset—and what actually works to bring me back
• The small environmental shifts that changed the feel of our home
• Why emotional regulation starts with our own capacity
• My not-so-secret checklist to reset the calm in your household
• How space + connection are two sides of the same parenting coin

Create Your Own Baseline Blog Post

Resources Mentioned:

• Join The Village: Click here to connect with our community.
• Sign up for the Momentum Challenge: Click here to get started.

Resources & Links

• Follow Christina @christinaslaback
• Email us at hello@christinaslaback.com
• www.christinaslaback.com

Transcript

Setting a Baseline

Christina: [00:00:00] Often we're looking for a fix. How do I get my kids to stop yelling at their sibling? How do I get them to just listen without a full on meltdown what I've found is that none of those strategies actually work when I am at capacity.

When I am stretched thin and running on fumes or ignoring my own needs, the same parenting scripts I know are helpful, they just don't work.I started asking better questions. What is the baseline energy in our home right now? What energy am I bringing into the space?

Welcome to Clear and On Purpose, the podcast design to help you cut through the noise and get back to what matters most. If you're feeling stuck, but needs to take intentional action, you are in the right place. I'm Christina Slayback, homeschooling mom of two and life and business coach, helping you drop in and align with your values and create more space.

Each week I'll be sharing practical insights and simple. [00:01:00] Actionable steps to help you find clarity, boost your energy, and design a life that balances ambition with mates. Let's dive in and get clear on purpose.

Welcome back to Clear and on Purpose, where we explore what it looks like to live parent and lead with intention. I am gonna continue diving into intentional parenting, more specifically how we can parent with more presence, alignment, and calm. Last week's episode was all about setting house rules that reflect your values and bring more peace into your home.

Today we're talking about creating a baseline. So this isn't about quick fixes. It's not the perfect strategy for sibling conflict or tantrums We're zooming out and we're talking about creating the foundation, the baseline energy in your home and within yourself.

Because that's where everything else builds on. And I'm gonna share what this looks like in my own life as a homeschooling mom, a wife, a business [00:02:00] owner, and someone who has very real moments of being completely touched out and overstimulated. So let's talk about it. Quick fixes versus foundational shifts.

Often we're looking for a fix. How do I get my kids to stop yelling at their sibling? How do I get them to just listen without a full on meltdown hey, I get it. I've looked for the strategies, but what I've found is that none of those strategies actually work when I am at capacity.

When I am stretched thin and running on fumes or ignoring my own needs, the same parenting scripts I know are helpful, they just don't work. So I started asking better questions. What is the baseline energy in our home right now? What energy am I bringing into the space? I think that we look towards others and want to create change within them.

we'll look at our kids and think, this is the behavior that I wanna change. But often it really comes back to our own [00:03:00] energy and how we're approaching the situation, and our kids can feel that. If the foundation is chaos, stress, and disconnection, then the behavior makes total sense. when I notice myself snapping or yelling about something that doesn't even matter.

I know that I've crossed a line internally, and that's my cue that I haven't been tending to me. I really try to approach parenting with an intentionality and a gentleness, and so I know if I start raising my voice, if I start losing my cool with the children that I have reached capacity and I have been ignoring my needs.

And what I've learned about myself is that my version of self-care isn't bubble baths or pedicures, Those are great things to indulge ourselves, but what we actually need is our baseline needs being met. For me personally, that usually means that I need [00:04:00] space.

I'm someone who recharges alone. But parenting, especially when you're homeschooling and working from home, is pretty much the opposite of that alone time. So I have to get creative. And these are things that I found that support my personal baseline. These might be different for you depending on your personality, how you recharge and how you gain your energy, but for me it looks like this movement, I need to get walks in.

I need to get workouts in anything to move my energy. Yes, there's a physical component to it, but that's also an opportunity to get back into a calm mental space and give myself that break. To be able to show up with more intention, getting time outside, especially barefoot in the grass if I can.

Getting into that grounding, getting by water, getting into nature is truly recharging for me. Deep, meaningful conversations with friends and family. the opportunity to just let loose and connect with some of my friends or family without the kids around. Even if [00:05:00] we have the kids around, but they're doing something else.

Just the opportunity to really connect adult to adult is great. Space to dream research and explore new ideas. I love learning new things. I love diving into things and being able to give myself the space to be able to dive into whatever those interests and explore new ideas is really gonna make me feel recharged.

An adventure, whether that's a trip somewhere new or just finding a new spot to get a nice cup of tea.

Something that brings something novel into my life is going to just really give me that boost of energy. And these aren't optional, they're necessary. when I notice that I'm getting that energy depleted, or I notice that I'm showing up how I don't intend to in my relationships, then I need to start to look at how I can incorporate some of these back into my life.

And when I use them preventatively, meaning that I'm doing this before I [00:06:00] get to the point of burnout, I can show up with more patience and flexibility. I yell less. I recover faster when I do lose it, and I can actually enjoy being with my kids, which is the whole point anyway.

Once I've grounded myself, I wanna turn towards the environment and set that household baseline. I've made some really intentional shifts over the years that change the feel of our household. some of the things that I've noticed really impact us is sleep Sleep is so important. I had babies who didn't sleep through the night for years, so I know what it's like to run on fumes, but consistent sleep routines have made a huge difference, and that doesn't mean that they go to sleep at the same time every night.

We do have activities, we have events, we go on trips. I don't wanna be a slave to a sleep schedule, but the more that I can stay consistent when I have the ability to do that. The more we're able to set ourselves up for the times when we have that ability to be [00:07:00] flexible and still be able to create that baseline.

And I want them to be able to be in tune with their bodies. noticing when we have a few days of not getting enough sleep. Noticing when we're feeling a little tired, maybe a little crabby because we're tired, and then looking at ways that we can get that additional rest. So maybe that's laying down for a nap going to bed early after a few late nights, or sleeping in the next day if we can, having the conversations and helping them to learn how to tune in their bodies.

They actually recognize now when they're tired and will sometimes ask to go to bed early. We do aim for those regular bedtimes, but we are flexible and life happens, 

I want to have that space for spontaneity. The next area that has made a big impact is nutrition and eating. The majority of us in the household can get really hangry, and when we're eating really processed stuff, if we're skipping meals, [00:08:00] that crankiness can really start to creep in and become fights or arguments.

If we're eating more Whole Foods, if we're eating on a more regular schedule, we're all in better moods, this is coming from someone who struggles with meal prep and planning. I notice that when I do take the time the kids get along better.

I am in a better place. The days go so much more smoothly, this is not about perfection. There are definitely seasons in our life where we're going to have faster processed food. There are seasons where I'm really busy with work and the kids are on their own for breakfast and lunch, just grabbing what we have handy and easy.

So it's not about creating perfection, it's just noticing. If I know that that's the season that we're in, then I will remind myself when we are getting a little bit more tense, when we're getting a little bit more, Cranky that these are just symptoms of what's [00:09:00] underlying, and we can go quickly back to it.

It's not that this is how the rest of our lives are and we're just always gonna be cranky, or that they're always gonna be upset It's just that maybe I need to go back and start to bring in some of those whole foods, some of those more regular foods and course correct when we need to.

And movement. this is medicine in our house for all of us. It helps us all regulate emotionally and physically. my kids are super active and I know that I need movement to feel like myself, so that might mean getting outside. If it's not very nice out and the kids are older now, they might do some sports with the wire or even just go with me to work out.

It might just be roughhousing in the living room. 

I've even intentionally set up our home over the years to make movement really easy. So when they were younger, this was climbing toys. It was safe spaces for big energy. It was areas where they could jump and move. It was giving them opportunities to do the heavy work of like pushing things that are really heavy or helping [00:10:00] me move things around the house, or just creating those opportunities to release that pent up energy before it explodes into.

Meltdowns or drama.

Looking at our physical environment, there's some things that I've noticed that I can quickly change the energy. this might be things like playing calm music in the mornings, really setting up our mornings and creating that intention from that space will usually help the rest of the day.

Sometimes this is lighting candles up. Breakfast and just kind of creating a little different atmosphere. It can be creating cozy nooks for reading while we're doing our schoolwork, where we can be cozy together and setting up systems so that the kids can help themselves with snacks or projects.

This has started from a really young age of creating the environment Around our house to support the kids where they were at. that was having cups plates and snacks at a level where they could reach them. It was, creating a little water system where they could get their own water from a young age.

So they didn't need to constantly be [00:11:00] asking for all of these things and could start to notice and meet their own needs. it just creates more calm and comfort. It allows them to be capable and really. Just create more level and groundedness in the home. And the next things that I look at are really the emotional energy, and that's looking at this balance between space and connection.

The emotional needs that I really focus on are this space and this connection, this alone time versus. Time together and really being able to relate. that means that we've kept a daily quiet time, even after the naps faded away, and that allows everyone to get a break from each other and I get time to think and create or just breathe.

And it's really a protective space for all of this. during quiet time, we all go into our own spaces and spend some time on our own doing whatever activities we want to, but it's kind of an opportunity to comb and to quit. Quiet and to be able to just have that space where we are not all on top of [00:12:00] each other and can have our own interests.

But of course alone time and space doesn't build relationships. So I also prioritize connection. And just because we're being physically present with each other doesn't mean that we're being emotionally present. we are around each other a lot with all of us being in the same house. And I can often think I've spent all day with the children, like, what could they possibly need more attention?

But it doesn't necessarily mean that I've been emotionally present throughout the day. So doing things and being really intentional about that. each morning, greeting them with affection and a big smile before starting our tasks. We are intentional about creating monthly one-on-one dates with each of the kids too.

To be able to spend that time just being able to interact and do activities with each kid separately and putting any of the work aside at times and just really [00:13:00] listening to their stories and to what they're interested in and excited about. Rather than halfheartedly listening while trying to make dinner or do several things at once, and taking the time to play or sit together and not just move through the to-do list, it can be really easy to just move on to the next thing that we need to do.

But really being able to create those times where we can just be together. whether that's game nights or movie nights, or even just taking a breakout of the day and just like a check-in at lunch or at breakfast. Just knowing that I am looking at creating more of those opportunities so that we can have that connection.

And again, it's not perfect, but those small intentional moments of presence really do add up and they really do affect the overall tone in our house. Here's the truth. You can have every parenting trick in the book. You can memorize the scripts and you can follow the Instagram advice. But if you are burned [00:14:00] out and disconnected, none of it's gonna land.

Instead of just jumping straight into fixing behavior or finding the next hack, really take a moment to kind of zoom out and look at what your own baseline is. Look at the energy in your home and build from there, because that's where intentional parenting really starts. It's not with control, but with capacity.

So how can you create more capacity in a calmer home? Here's a checklist that I go through that's really worked for me. you might wanna adjust for your own personal needs, 

Have I created enough quiet or alone time to reset? Am I getting in my movements, my creativity, or a chance to learn something new? Are my kids getting enough sleep, real food, and time to move their bodies? Does our home feel calming and supportive? What are ways that I can [00:15:00] create more calm in our lives?

And have we made space for both independence and connection? if things are feeling off, this is where I would start. I wanna reset the baseline and everything else becomes easier to manage. if this resonated with you and you're ready to reset your own baseline, that's exactly the kind of work I do in personal coaching.

Whether it's helping you tune into your needs or create more alignment at home, I would love to support you. You can book a free consultation any time in the links in the comments. Thanks for tuning into Clear and on Purpose. We're gonna be spending all month diving into topics of parenting, 

We're gonna be talking about the tips and strategies, but also the mindset and opportunities for us to turn inward when it comes to parenting. I hope you'll join me and share.

What's resonating with you. Until then, take a deep breath, reset your baseline, and I'll talk to you soon.

Thank you for tuning in to [00:16:00] clear and on purpose. If you're ready to take intentional steps toward a more fulfilling life and wanna customize the approach, I'd love to work with you. Visit www.christinaslayback.com to schedule a free consultation or explore current offers designed to help you gain clarity.

And reclaim your energy. And don't forget to subscribe and share this episode with a friend if you found it helpful. It helps others find the show and grow our community.